My name is Amy Seabright. I am 27 years old and have spent 26 years of my life without God and 1 year with him. I have a wonderful grandma and sister who have stood by me this entire time. I am currently in custody at the Grady County Jail.
My mother was very young (14 years old) when she had me. Which, of course, made men and partying a part of her priorities. Those men abused me when mom was sleeping or gone. When I was 11 my mom went to prison. She was gone for a year and I felt that it was my fault. I took some stuff to my grandparents who at the time we were living with. Well, they sent her to a boot camp for women. I was the one who took the stuff to them, I was tired of drugs and men being more important to her than us.
She got out about the time I turned 12 and my grandparents let us go back to her and things were good for a while. Later, I started dating my husband and we got pregnant when I was 16 years old. I lost my daughter at 6 months. I didn’t believe it and I went into a deep depression. I hated everyone and God. I was tired of all the bad stuff that was going on around me. This was the beginning of my husband’s problems, and mine I believe. Three months later I found out I was pregnant again. My body hadn’t had time to heal. I gave birth to my first son in June of 2005. I was almost 18 years old when he was born. My husband and I had our problems but I believe we were happy for a while.
In 2013 I got in trouble and I went to jail for possession of marijuana. Then I got out and kept hanging out with bad people. I just was so far gone. I was tired of my mom, my husband, all of it. I was tired of running from drugs. I never did them but I helped people get them. I thought maybe people would love me that way. I was wrong. In July when I signed for probation I knew I needed to get away from people who were bad for me. I was having a hard time. I hadn’t prayed in a long time. I had made so many mistakes and committed so many sins, I honestly didn’t believe God would care, I was wrong.
I was tired of everything. The abuse, the fighting, all of it. I didn’t think I was good enough for anyone. I wasn’t pretty, I was fat. I wasn’t being a good mother. So I decided it was time to change. I enrolled at OSU for my RN License. I was going to get away from those people. I was going to do good things with my life. I spent months trying to get away and I just couldn’t.
On December 3rd, with my husband deployed with the Army, my sons and I lay in bed and I prayed for the first time in a long time. I asked God to help me. I wanted a better life, a better way. I wanted to be enough. I knew that night would be the last time I held my children for a while.
December 4, 2013 I took my kids to school. Then I went to school. I got arrested at my school and brought down to Grady County that day. I was so scared. This year has changed my life. I found out you can’t make people love you. You can’t change people if they don’t want to change. I accepted Jesus Christ in my life as my savior February 7, 2014. It was the best decision of my life. I miss my kids every day and can’t wait to get home to them but I am glad I have been here the last 14 months. No matter the outcome I know God is with me and will make me strong and help me. (Isaiah 41:10)